“Tough Times Don’t Last, Tough People Do.”

Strange as it may seem, My Life is based on a True Story.  I have learned that vulnerability is the only bridge to Connection. So, Before the journey continues, you must be very aware of how it all started.  Although there have been some tough seasons, enduring lesson after lesson, peeling back wound after wound, and gaining a new perspective through the pain, God has definitely made me an Overcomer. By sharing just a few very impactful seasons, I am a living testimony that boldly believes TOUGH PEOPLE outlast TOUGH SEASONS. We cannot control what happens in life but we CHOOSE how we respond to it. I am here to remind you about the CHOICE you have NO matter what happens.

BUT FIRST…
Let me be REAL for a sec…I have offended people, demeaned people, judged people, said the wrong thing (a time or 2), and brought out the worst in people. I have been disliked, talked badly about, been selfish, walked in anger, careless, and have made a TON of mistakes. I am familiar with broken, hopelessness, guilt, and bitterness. My mind and heart battled with rejection, frustration and confusion, quite unsure of who I was and my purpose. What was my value? Did I have any?

NOW…. Post Healing, Freedom, Tears, and Jesus….I am Tenacious. Tough. Fearless. Bold. Motivational. Self-less. Passionate. Overcomer. Fighter. Leader. Chosen. LOVE. Is what He says (God). 

Stay with me…Are you with me.??

Let my story begin…

To give you a quick summary of my parental guidance growing up. My mother was mentally ill. Sound familiar to anyone? She had a very EXTREME case of Bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia, apparently 1 in a million case. We (my sister and I) were taken from her and placed in the Foster system until my biological father was found. She is now owned by the State. I have attempted to reach out and find her, was successful, but decided I am okay without a mother. Acceptance can be a real Sucker sometimes.  I did not meet my father until I was 8 years old….Let’s just say, that is for another time. 

Back to when it all started when I was a tiny tot of 5 years old, my baby sister was 4 years old. As hard as this is to write, I desire vulnerability with my readers. To remind everybody that each has their own story and you never know who you can help by sharing. This is not easy to hear but it happened. It was my babysitter, yes, I said it,” it was my babysitter.” I don’t even know his name and I don’t care at this point. In his mind, he thought it would be okay to play “games” that couldn’t ever be told. The worst game was forcing me to watch as he played his “games” with my beautiful, innocent sister. I cannot remember how long it went on. I really can’t. But, I know he was never caught, we were taken away from my mother a few years later. Who knows where he is at today.

You would think that Molestation at that age wouldn’t carry over and be forgotten. NOPE. NOT AT ALL. And how do you even process that being so young? From being taken away from my mother, stepfather, and half-sister (4 at the time) heading into the foster system and then introduced to a new family (father’s side). Man, what a whirlwind of confusion, anger, sadness, and defensiveness. I was a suitcase of emotions that we tried to bury deep in our little 8 and 7-year-old hearts.

Now, My Sister(full sister), and I are with my father. Unfortunately, my father was rarely around and when he was, he was depressed, angry and always asleep. It was not the most joyous or loving household. Now, keep in mind, we always had a roof over our head, very grateful for that, but we needed a father. He was far from it, there were glimpses of it but his heart had selfish motives.

Fast Forward 20 years or so…Picture a father who is bound to alcoholism, pill addiction, guilt, shame, etc. If you have ever had to experience living under an angry rooftop, well, it is absolutely soul crushing. After several years of his alcoholism and all the drama that comes with it, I gave him 1 of 2 choices, Either he can have a relationship with me or his abuse. I’m sure you are NOT surprised by his choice. So, let’s just say he is dealing with his own choices and we do not have much contact.

Each situation has leaked into every relationship I have experienced. Let’s not even discuss romantically. I had a hard time communicating with those around me in several areas of my life. I appeared to be joyous and full of positive energy but on the inside I had some serious battles with rejection, anger, bitterness and defensiveness. I had NO hope in people, in relationships and more importantly, my own worth.

Trust. You familair with that word? How do you pronounce “T-r-u-s-t?” HA…that word had ZERO meaning in my life. I trusted NO ONE…not even God.

I didn’t give a CRAP what people thought (although good, but mine came from a hurtful place.) I didn’t need anyone. If someone didn’t like me, I threw my hands up in the air and never lost sleep over it. I defintely put up the Wall of China around my heart. I really felt that people were out to hurt me in some way, whether it be emotionally or physically. Why let anyone in if that was the outcome? No thank you, I’d rather not. The truth is…deep down, and I’m talking deep, there was a young girl that just wanted to be loved and accepted.

My first year in high school, I began to play basketball, primaily, to get out of my home. It was my only escape from being in the jail cell. So, that is exactly what I did and it became my absolute drive. I took all my frustration out during practice. Due to all my hidden emotions, it transfered over pretty well and I just ran with it. It became my distraction to take my mind off the neglect, verbal abuse, and anger outbursts.

THANKFULLY. I had an amazing Coach my very first year playing. He took me under his wing and slowly gained my trust. He knew the severity of my household and promised me that we would get me into college because I was worth more.  He kept his promise and everyday we would practice endless hours on my skills. He would pick me up at 6 am on Saturday’s and play pick up with the boys. He did whatever he could for me….He was my father figure. It took JUST ONE person to believe in me. He somehow chaneled my negative emotions and replaced them with encouragement and performance on the court. He taught me how to fuel that anger, to control it and when to express it. Without him, I would not be where I am. He kept me on the straight and narrow path, I should have taken a sharp left, but he gave me a different perspective.
Let’s jump forward, I made it to college!!! I played basketball at a JUCO then a small private school outside of LA. Most of my college experience, I was in a relationship with basketball. Thankfully, I made it to Europe for a little bit and played here and there. Throughout college, I fell in love with competitiveness, human anatomy, sports performance and psychology.

But real quick, let’s talk about College a bit. I am on my own now, and WHOA! Talk about getting hit by some DUMB relationship choices. Of course, I did not date the good men, nope (that would be way too easy). I dated “familiarity,”begging for acceptance and working hard to be loved. Boy oh Boy was that destructive!! So of course, failed relationship after failed relationship, wrong sexual experiences, and broken heart after broken heart. I dated boys that needed “fixing” since I couldn’t fix my father. I ended up losing  my virginity at 21 years old, although not given so easily, a year and a half later, he won, he still continued to cheat one me. Go figure. I became attracted to the Men that just spit out anger, anxiety, immaturity, and drama. My identity was quickly consumed with broken relationships. This resulted into a common question, Why wasn’t I enough? After I got that tired of that broken record, I decided to rely on myself again. Now, in saying that, I was no little angel. I had my fair share of playing games in relationships, being immature and making others feel that they are not good enough. See the relation??

MOVING forward…

Years and Years later… I found Jesus..and well…Forgiven, Restored, and Redeemed. (more to come)

OKAY OKAY, We still good?  Sheesh, that was a whole lot of information to take on. Now, several details were left out, those will be exposed with time but for now, we will hold off with the rest. (for now)

Pressing On, I fell in love with 3 Main Categories.
1. Jesus (faith & purpose)
2. Sport Performance (Mindset Coaching/Fitness)
3. Leadership.
I am currently a Strength/Fitness Coach that emphasizes in Lifestyle Mentorship,  including, Performance, Nutrition, Mindset, Relationships and Faith.

God has given me a vision and it starts with my testimony. Through this blog, I want to inspire others with my personal testimony while giving tools to set you up for success. These tools will apply in your health/fitness, lifestyle, mindset and relationships. I, myself, am very inspired to bring out the best version of people possible and want to step up to a much larger platform. My blog will be a constant in your life to remind you that if I can do it, so can YOU and here is HOW…

Follow me on this JOURNEY… Remember,”Tough Seasons don’t last BUT Tough People Do.”